Updates... :D

So yeah, this is my update after like... dunno how long... lol... sorry ya fern... i've been so swamped with work and exams.. =( I still love you! even though you love jarrod more now.. xD

so yeah... today is our 6 month anniversary leh sayang... lucky you didn't forget :D so dai sek.. lol.. i don't think i've actually been this happy since a long time ago... we talk things out when we disagree... mostly its me... xD but you have actually been really patient with me.. love you a lot!

I've learnt many things from you. Patience, talking things out, good old common sense, and many other things. But the thing that I've learnt best is appreciating someone. I've never appreciated anyone around me before but now, being with you, I'm slowly learning to appreciate you being around me. Even though sometimes you over think, (well... all the time), but I still love you... AND even though you say that I'm with you because I want to get Alex jealous, but frankly, the truth is, I'm much happier being with you :D and thanks for always being beside me and just spoiling me.. Another 6 months to go and I'm in your arms! yay!

Anyhoooo, just wanted to post up something that I've read during my devotions this morning for everyone else to read. Its called "Love is a choice"

Today we've bought into this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it's something that just happens to us, it's not something that we can control. Even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We tend to say, "I fell in love," as if love is some kind of a ditch. It's as if I'm walking along one day and wham! - I fell in love. I couldn't help myself.

However, that is not the truth. Love doesn't just happen to you. It is a choice and it represents a commitment.

There is no doubt that attraction is uncontrollable and arousal is uncontrollable. But they are not love. They can lead to love, but in reality, they are not love. Love is a choice.

We must choose to love God; he won't force you to love Him ( Deuteronomy 30:20). You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way. You can destroy your life if you choose to do that but God won't force you to love him because He knows that love can't be forced.

This principal is true about our relationships, we can choose to love others but God will never force us to love anyone.

Source : Rick Warren's Daily Devotional

SO, by saying that, love is a choice. We can either choose to love someone or to hate someone. But frankly, what's the point of keeping hatred alive? In the end, it hurts you more than the other person. So far, I realised that in life, many people have hurt me and I have in fact hurt many people back in return whether knowingly or unknowingly. But at the end of the day, it all boils down to how much you love a person. If you really love the person, you wouldn't want to hurt them. However, we are all humans. Humans make mistakes, humans sin. Nobody is perfect. It is whether you are willing to accept them as they are or hate them.

My choice would be to love them. Yes, sometimes it is hard.. But we first learnt to love because God loved us. Once we realise that important fact, we would start looking at people through God's eyes and be more patient with them.

Life since I returned...

Been back in Malaysia for 5 weeks now, slowly getting used to being back in Malaysia. Many things have been happening since I got home which frankly drove me nuts couple of weeks back. Following the time chronology, my mum fainted in the market, I finally broke up with Alex after 2 years, I started my internship in EnY, boss came to Ipoh and stayed over for a night and went off complaining that Ipoh has nothing to do, been falling sick for ages, since I got back to Malaysia (cough non-stop due to allergies), until today finally a public holiday.. lolx

my mum fainted in the market apparently due to a blood vein collapse. According to the doctor, it's quite normal for old people.. Means I might get it too when I'm old??? ._. dangerous sia...

Anyway, finally beh tahan after 2 years of happiness yet torture for me. It saps too much of my strength to hold the relationship together. I'm not that strong after all... And I've finally accepted the inevitable. The bright side is I'm slowly letting go with help... Work and annoying boss has been part of me since I got back. I get too tired by the time I reach home to think too much... As for annoying boss, everyday I sure got complain for him one. But he's so patient with me.. xD

My internship started on the 13th of December. I met 3 other new interns like me. We're an awesome bunch. =) so our team consists of 3 girls and 1 guy. xDDD Poor Yuen Yang, the only guy in the group and the youngest one at that.. haha... Each of us have different seniors which is awesome cause I managed to meet some real and nutty auditors... lolx... I think its important if not most probably you'll end up stressed constantly and nuts.. i got conned by the exterior look.. lol.. cause they always look so quiet but actually they are nuts! nuts i tell you! lolx... the silly things they did.. Iqbal joked.. JOKED with me... gosh... and I think I teach him wrong things... Now he sms also got smiley faces liao.. @@" (I'm bad influence.. LOL) Yee Hern and Wei Kuan are the lamest seniors man.. lol! everything also can laugh one... my gosh... I had a very enjoyable day with them yesterday. Went stock take in Setiawan. on the way back we stopped by Marina Island.. Super nice leh that place... Superb view of the sea. And thus I fulfilled my wish to see the seaside... IF only I can go again.. =(

Boss came to ipoh... Now that is something funny.. Lolx... Was driving to go fetch him with Andrew. OMGOSH! We laughed our heads off when we saw him... hahahahahaha! his face and the way he act is totally different.. he loves to curse but his face looks like those incapable to curse.. xD funny siaaaa!!! HAHAHA!!! Anyway, that 2 days spent with him was fun... lolx... I was emo on saturday night cause of Alex but boss wanted to buy me a balloon.. @@" lol... i rather he buy me another patrick than a balloon.. looolx
those 2 days were awesome... laughed like mad... stared at him.. observed.. xD i wish i could have more days like that... nutty days... lolx... i wish i could go to melaka or terengganu... =/ but parents dun let... if i could i can go annoy boss again.. =) at least before i go back to melb... eventhough he says no one loves him... haha.. but he is a good friend... i don't say anything to you but i'm very grateful to you for being beside me all the time... when i'm sad, when i throw my tantrums, when i'm happy, when i'm around you i'm comfortable.. =D thanks Kenny...

Allergies now... gosh... every year is the same thing... this year is cough... driving me nuts... been coughing for almost a month now... zzz.. stressing out my body.. but i hate doctors... boss nag me also dunwan go... lucky he not in ipoh if not he sure drag me go see liao... @@" meh.. me nu likey doctors... frankly i wont go unless desperate one lor... or ppl drag me there.. lucky boss not in ipoh.. @@" talking about it.. i started coughing liao... ._. die die dunwan see specialist one lah... ~~ the other day cough till  abit of blood out.. swt... nvm lah.. i'll get better soon.. =) I better not die.. lol.. if not boss said he gonna whack the church only come to my funeral.. later he no face.. LoL! what would i do without him? xD

Today is a holiday! Tomorrow is the first day of 2011... No resolutions until now... ._. dunno la.. dun care... feeling tired again... maybe i go nap awhile.. =D

Change is inevitable.

Well, I've decided to name this blog post "change is inevitable" because there are so many things in my life which is currently changing at the moment. Right now, the future is so uncertain but at the same time, I'm feeling very excited for more things. There can be two types of changes in one's life. One leads to progress, benefit, while the other leads to nothing, stagnant growth and sometimes named as the dark age. For me, I'm learning to take change as something that is good. Something that would improve my life, change my ways. Its like light and darkness. Light = change, progressive, brings truth and victory while darkness = stagnant, never changes, brings death and failure. Obviously I would choose light. Even though I feel fear but at the same time, I'm learning to trust God because I know He knows what is good for me. I'm putting my trust and life into His hands.

In 1 more day, I will be back in Malaysia. Somehow, I really dread going back. I will miss the kids, and of course Rob and Assunta. They have been the most awesomest parents to me since I've been in Melbourne. There is such a family feel compared to being with my own parents. I realized that whenever I'm in trouble, the first person I would be willing to go and ask for advice is from Assunta. Somehow, I will not ask my own mother for some odd reason. I realize that when I'm back next year, I will have to adapt not having Rob and Assunta around that much. I mean there Paul and Esther but somehow, its just not that same anymore. But I'm very happy for Rob and Assunta cause he can finally fulfil his dreams. Gonna miss having Rob around in the office making funny weird noises when I'm trying to work. He's the only person that actually said that he is proud of me which somehow made me feel that I'm indeed loved. Thinking back those last few weeks in the office just before they left for kidshaper HK makes me smile to myself. Ariel came in the office to help out and Rob was just being himself. Lame jokes and singing voice like a cat on the fence in the middle of the night trying to make everyone laugh. But it didn't work cause we were used to it and we were ignoring him. He tried so hard when at the end I finally cracked and he was like YES! You finally laughed! I can't bear to hear that sound anymore (the sound of his own "cat-like singing on the fence*) hahaha! I guess I don't say this enough to them, but I really love you guys.

But all good times must come to an end, so this has. Change can't be stopped, it might be delayed but in the end, we all have to face it whether we like it or not. Well, I've accepted mine and put my future in His hands knowing that He will protect me. Well, I'll be back on Monday. See you guys in Malaysia then...

The power to generate...

Keith Craft has just been amazing and influential in my life recently. He spoke on Sunday, then at the leaders discipleship on Wednesday and then again at the Mighty Men's conference. He is an amazing speaker of God with such an anointing in his life. I still remember his phrase from the last time he spoke during service which was "We bring the natural and God brings in the super into our life to create a supernatural life". That phrase is so true. There were so many light bulb moments going off in my head when he was preaching. For example, the evolution theory. I mean as in, is it that hard to trust that there is a God above who is watching us? For me, its harder for me to believe the evolution theory than the faith theory. I apologize to those who get offended when I say that but its true. I just cant imagine my ancestors evolved from monkeys. For me, it takes more faith to believe that I'm descended from a monkey than to believe that there is a God in my life cause there are just too many things which I can't explain which happened to me and impacted me so much.

Anyway, back to the topic of the post, the power to generate. Keith Craft was saying that darkness is stagnant and that light is always moving forwards and that God created things in order. In the book of Genesis is the creation story. He used the creation story as a way to explain that God did not create things randomly. The order of things is
1. light
2. atmosphere
3. structure
4. order
5. movement
6. relationships
7. rest

if we get the first things done first.. then we can have rest, just as God did on the seventh day! This motivated me to study and do well so that I can have that rest.. =) another light bulb moment was under relationships... lool... it dawned on me that until i get my life in order, I'm not going to have a relationship... HAHA! so.. hahaha.. i better get my life in order lor.. xD

Quote for the day: "No one can use what happens to you like you can. The School of Hard Knocks is Adversity University where anyone can get an 'A'."

Rare

One of the rare mornings which I manage to wake up in time for my 830am classes. Somehow I woke up feeling really upset cause there's just been too many things happening around me. Stress about the future, about my final examination, about what the heck I'm going to do in my 3 month break in Malaysia. Suddenly, I just gave up thinking about those things. Instead, I decided to be positive and I started thanking God for everything in my life and by the end of it, I was feeling so grateful and thankful that I stopped feeling sorry for myself. LoL! How many of us been through those sort of days? Just feeling miserable like nobody cares and stressed out? I know I do.. Lots of times in fact... I know its not easy to be positive but somehow, once you try and not give up, you'll get it eventually!

By the way, the leaders' discipleship with Keith Craft was awesome! I even managed to get one of his books - Leadershipology 101. Its filled with quotes and his thoughts about them. 

Quote for the day!
"Adversity is to the spirit and soul what going to the gym is for the body."

A humbling experience

Recently I bought a book. Its not those random my favourite fantasy book about vampires or werewolves but it is a top seller in Koorong called "The boy who came back from Heaven". Frankly, the minute I took the book from the shelf, I assumed that it was a fiction book which is well written, sort of like "The Shack" but boy was I wrong. The minute I opened the book was the time I got hooked on it.

Basically this book is about a 6-year old boy who got into a car accident with his dad in 2004. His spine was detached from his skull and for a normal person it equals to death. But with the grace of God, he survived and is living with his parents and siblings at home after a very long recovery process. What amazes me is the love of God and His people in providing assistance and support to the family and impacting many people in the journey to heal Alex and what he saw while he was in heaven. Its everything that the Bible says about heaven and what God is waiting to show us when we get there. Of course there are many other information there which I read and at the end of it I was simply amazed at the power of God.

This is an awesome book about the power of God and the encouragement it contains is just awesome. I feel so encouraged by this book and I pray that if you read it cause of my recommendation in this blog that you too will be encouraged and not be weary. And please keep Alex in prayer =)


p/s: i included the link to his website. Indeed as the link says: ALL things are possible with God!

Prayforalex

Today!

Today was such an awesome day! I just can't explain the feeling. I just have a feeling that this is a season of favor and blessing in my life. I feel so blessed being around the kids I take care of and getting testimonies about them. I just feel so grateful for everything that has happened in my life even though there were some unhappy periods. Bleh, I really don't know how to explain it.. ><